19 November 2008
18 November 2008
This huge pile of clothes is moving back and forth between my bed and the floor, deal
Friday I had the most absurd interview in the history of the world. For the sake of keeping this totally out-of-wack institution unnamed I will call it IndividualArt.Com.
And before I get into the guts of what went down I'd like to discuss my sister for a moment. Anne always says that I remind her of Larry David. Usually I'm like, "yeah my life is a sitcom, whatever." But this experience at IndividualArt.com solidifies her observation that I should just quit life and start writing my memoirs now.
Okay, so last week I found Individualart.com's listing on Craigslist.com. They're looking for an intern a few days a week to do basically everything - they're an internet start up. I figured, I've done EVERYTHING, so I can definitely handle "everything." So, I send a resume, they call, we set up an interview. Money.
The day comes. I get up, I make my hair as big as humanly possible, I put on my most respectable yet un-stuffy interview outfit and I hit the train for the city. Now, those of you who don't know me probably aren't aware of that fact that I am anally retentive, freakishly punctual, and basically type-a about everything. Its just part of my charm.
Anyway, with this in mind, I'm set up to be in the city one hour before the interview - just in case I get lost, the train gets derailed, there's a freak snow storm - whatever. I'm ready.
So I get to 5th and 31st about twenty minutes before my interview. The door is locked. Okay, they're not in yet. I'll have a smoke. Oh, I'm out of cigarettes. I'll stand here like an asshole for half an hour leafing through my file-o-fax. awesome.
Now its ten of eleven. I'm getting nervous. I call the office - answering machine. "Hi, this is Allyson, I have an appointment at 11 and I think I'm locked out, can someone please call me back?" etc.
At 11 o'clock some over educated ex hipster with a useless degree (aka me in two years) calls back, "Uhm Allyson, Yeah, I guess I should have told you thats not really where the office is...."
Uh, What? Not REALLY where it is? Well where is it REALLY?! Now I'm running through Manhattan, trying to change into my heels and find where this office REALLY is (hopefully it exist on EARTH) and make in there five minutes ago.
I find the joint. The doorman looks at me knowingly, as if to say, "Late? How could you!?" I get upstairs and the office is set up like a studio with desks everywhere. Everywhere I turn is some kid from Vassar with a degree in French and black horn rimmed glasses. Everyone fell out of an Urban Outfitters catalog and everyone was, of course, snotty and cranky in an indie rock kind of way. I was want to say, "Listen, stain-on-your-100 dollar-sweater-from-american-apparel, back up off me, I'm from south jersey." But I refrained.
They make me wait. Finally, Ms. Couldn't be less interested in you if i HAD to be, begins the interview - which went exactly like this
"So you got a little lost, eh? Guess I should have given you the right directions. So, Religious studies, what's that all about? Oh, you have some development experience, thats nice. Some one will call you on monday."
I made it to Penn Station in time to get on the 11:37 train. I hate my life and needless to say, no one called on monday.
And before I get into the guts of what went down I'd like to discuss my sister for a moment. Anne always says that I remind her of Larry David. Usually I'm like, "yeah my life is a sitcom, whatever." But this experience at IndividualArt.com solidifies her observation that I should just quit life and start writing my memoirs now.
Okay, so last week I found Individualart.com's listing on Craigslist.com. They're looking for an intern a few days a week to do basically everything - they're an internet start up. I figured, I've done EVERYTHING, so I can definitely handle "everything." So, I send a resume, they call, we set up an interview. Money.
The day comes. I get up, I make my hair as big as humanly possible, I put on my most respectable yet un-stuffy interview outfit and I hit the train for the city. Now, those of you who don't know me probably aren't aware of that fact that I am anally retentive, freakishly punctual, and basically type-a about everything. Its just part of my charm.
Anyway, with this in mind, I'm set up to be in the city one hour before the interview - just in case I get lost, the train gets derailed, there's a freak snow storm - whatever. I'm ready.
So I get to 5th and 31st about twenty minutes before my interview. The door is locked. Okay, they're not in yet. I'll have a smoke. Oh, I'm out of cigarettes. I'll stand here like an asshole for half an hour leafing through my file-o-fax. awesome.
Now its ten of eleven. I'm getting nervous. I call the office - answering machine. "Hi, this is Allyson, I have an appointment at 11 and I think I'm locked out, can someone please call me back?" etc.
At 11 o'clock some over educated ex hipster with a useless degree (aka me in two years) calls back, "Uhm Allyson, Yeah, I guess I should have told you thats not really where the office is...."
Uh, What? Not REALLY where it is? Well where is it REALLY?! Now I'm running through Manhattan, trying to change into my heels and find where this office REALLY is (hopefully it exist on EARTH) and make in there five minutes ago.
I find the joint. The doorman looks at me knowingly, as if to say, "Late? How could you!?" I get upstairs and the office is set up like a studio with desks everywhere. Everywhere I turn is some kid from Vassar with a degree in French and black horn rimmed glasses. Everyone fell out of an Urban Outfitters catalog and everyone was, of course, snotty and cranky in an indie rock kind of way. I was want to say, "Listen, stain-on-your-100 dollar-sweater-from-american-apparel, back up off me, I'm from south jersey." But I refrained.
They make me wait. Finally, Ms. Couldn't be less interested in you if i HAD to be, begins the interview - which went exactly like this
"So you got a little lost, eh? Guess I should have given you the right directions. So, Religious studies, what's that all about? Oh, you have some development experience, thats nice. Some one will call you on monday."
I made it to Penn Station in time to get on the 11:37 train. I hate my life and needless to say, no one called on monday.
11 November 2008
The End Is Near
So here I am. I've applied to every job in my field and about 209428342 jobs which are totally unrelated to what it is that I do. What do I do? Other than teach every kid in Middlesex County how to swim? I don't even know. I've got a BA in a field that is totally unmarketable. I have skills no one needs and bills I can't pay. So this is looking up for me.
A lighter note, went to see Spamalot with roommate and whatshisname last Friday. It was hilarious and I totally recommend it. In fact, I'm not even really that excited about Broadway - it was whathisname's idea. And it was a good call, for sure. The best part is how bad Clay Aiken is. Was he supposed to put all that weight on? Irregardless, check it if you haven't.
A lighter note, went to see Spamalot with roommate and whatshisname last Friday. It was hilarious and I totally recommend it. In fact, I'm not even really that excited about Broadway - it was whathisname's idea. And it was a good call, for sure. The best part is how bad Clay Aiken is. Was he supposed to put all that weight on? Irregardless, check it if you haven't.
09 November 2008
04 November 2008
4 November
I voted today.
For the last Presidential election I was living pretty far below the Mason Dixon line and was forced to vote via absentee ballot, which we all know is complete bull shit and are never really counted, anyway. College, I thought, was supposed to be a place of higher, liberal education - and I welcomed this coming from an uppity private school. But the 'lon was, of course, not this way at all. Club Med, as I affectionately referred to it for the better part of my stint there, was such that the niece of that unmentionable current President lived in my building. I was a blue dot in a sea of red. And even though I had to sojourn all the way to Mercer County, NJ today (home of more than a few of the redneck variety of Republicans) I felt much more positive about my November 4th then I did four years ago. I'm happy that all this will be over soon, but I am glad to be a part of it right now.
For the last Presidential election I was living pretty far below the Mason Dixon line and was forced to vote via absentee ballot, which we all know is complete bull shit and are never really counted, anyway. College, I thought, was supposed to be a place of higher, liberal education - and I welcomed this coming from an uppity private school. But the 'lon was, of course, not this way at all. Club Med, as I affectionately referred to it for the better part of my stint there, was such that the niece of that unmentionable current President lived in my building. I was a blue dot in a sea of red. And even though I had to sojourn all the way to Mercer County, NJ today (home of more than a few of the redneck variety of Republicans) I felt much more positive about my November 4th then I did four years ago. I'm happy that all this will be over soon, but I am glad to be a part of it right now.
30 October 2008
22 October 2008
20 October 2008
16 October 2008
Rubin Museum of Art
Today I had my first (of probably several) interviews at the Rubin in New York in the hopes of landing a internship that I can parlay into a real life grownup job and save myself from the despair that is being a fifth year senior. I have done this to myself. I know. I am tired of working two jobs. My insurance runs out in December, and I'm barely scrapping by as it is - New Jersey is killing me. I am so completely ready to ditch and move to Europe like my sister, too bad she beat me to the punch. At this point I'd just be a poor reproduction of an already genius piece - also known as Anne Longstreet. Must be nice to gallivant around Spain in the middle of October. If I ever have to teach breatstroke again it will be too soon. When did this turn into spontaneous prose?
07 October 2008
Disappointment
The day had come, I thought, to rid of myself of my ever lingering tie to Myspace.com. I have been considering this for years - since the Facebook phenomenon exploded all over my FireFox. Since Rupert Murdoch paid 580 million dollars for Tom's pet project in July - and since Fox News always leaves a sour taste in my mouth, I reckoned that Myspace would survive without me.
Alas, it is not to be. Apparently, Tom owns me. Since creating my account, oh, about seven years ago my email addresses have obviously changed - a lot. Since I am no longer Allypanic@optonline.net Tom says I can not deactivate my account. I am doomed to be on Myspace for the rest of eternity. This is what you get for giving out personal information at the drop of a hat. Networking is not the new black.
What can I do?!
Alas, it is not to be. Apparently, Tom owns me. Since creating my account, oh, about seven years ago my email addresses have obviously changed - a lot. Since I am no longer Allypanic@optonline.net Tom says I can not deactivate my account. I am doomed to be on Myspace for the rest of eternity. This is what you get for giving out personal information at the drop of a hat. Networking is not the new black.
What can I do?!
06 October 2008
Stolen
I thieved the following from a blog I follow pretty closely (You'll Grow to Love Me). I think Ms. Jennifer Alaine is sharp, funny, and reminds me a lot of myself when I was her age - especially the studying abroad in an unnecessarily fabulous location - part. Cheers!
In European news, Anne is off to Spain next week to bask in the sunshine of Costa Del Sol while I'm over taking yet another round of midterms, hoping in and out of the pool, and longing for my boss to get the hint - already. sheesh.
In European news, Anne is off to Spain next week to bask in the sunshine of Costa Del Sol while I'm over taking yet another round of midterms, hoping in and out of the pool, and longing for my boss to get the hint - already. sheesh.
02 October 2008
Overdue
Today I went through and deleted all of my "friends" on facebook who are Republicans. CLEARLY we do not have that much in common.
I have a pseudo interview at the Rubin Museum of Art next week. I'm weary since the Guggenheim broke my heart, not once - but twice, this summer. I've got a lot of love to give, Rubin, so don't do me wrong.
I have a pseudo interview at the Rubin Museum of Art next week. I'm weary since the Guggenheim broke my heart, not once - but twice, this summer. I've got a lot of love to give, Rubin, so don't do me wrong.
23 September 2008
Pay It Forward
Ten things you wish you could say to ten people right now. No names.
1. I hope you don't ever come home. I miss you soooo much, but we both know that being as far away from the 609 is the only way to stay sane. You are so very lucky (and neutral), and I carry your heart in my heart. And stop nagging your husband, he doesn't like vegetables.
2. I'll never be sorry that I told you how I feel. I am, however, pretty upset that you've yet to say anything about it. Whatsoever.
3. I feel like our friendship is falling apart and I have no idea what to do about it - or if I'm ready to do anything at all except make myself scarce.
4. I don't go to therapy because you were a shitty parent - but thats mostly what I talk about when I get there.
5. Walking home barefoot with you was the beginning of a very important friendship. I hope you know how much I love and appreciate you.
6. I can't believe you fired me over the internet, you coward. Grow up.
7. It will never be the same, and it's because you ran your mouth when you should have come to me first.
8. Ugh, just date me, already.
9. You won't remember much about your time abroad. But I hope having curry for lunch sticks with you forever. You're not even old enough to read this - but someday your mom will tell you all about. Hopefully in German.
10. I love everything about you, except that you're so far away. I am so completely proud of you. Someday I'll move to Philly so we can be neighbors - if I ever graduate.
Nine things about yourself:
1. I'm pretty much scared of everything - except confrontation
2. I'd move to Zurich tomorrow if it meant that Anne and I never had to be this far apart again
3. I hate winter sports, but I love sweaters.
4. I'm broke, and forever working two jobs
5. I miss Florence so much it's probably inappropriate
6. My Italian sucks
7. I am so completely ready to graduate
8. I have NO idea what I'm going to do once I do
9. I've got it pretty bad for my boss. Everyone knows, but him.
Eight ways to win your heart:
1. Vote the democratic party line
2. Love the Phillies
3. Realize that being difficult is part of my charm
4. Try your hardest NOT to have a girlfriend on the side (ahem)
5. Don't judge my love for The Hills, Renaissance painters, Mob movies
6. Understand that Godfather 2 is the superior Godfather
7. Deal with my mother's craziness
8. Appreciate that I'm loyal to a fault - act accordingly
Seven things that cross your mind a lot:
1. My job
2. My sister
3. My bank account
4. Running
5. My bullshit 7.5 credits this semester
6. Not graduating on time
7. Florence
Six things you're afraid of:
1. Indian food
2. Ice skating
3. Tying my shoes in public
4.
5.
6.
One confession:
I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm totally okay with it.
1. I hope you don't ever come home. I miss you soooo much, but we both know that being as far away from the 609 is the only way to stay sane. You are so very lucky (and neutral), and I carry your heart in my heart. And stop nagging your husband, he doesn't like vegetables.
2. I'll never be sorry that I told you how I feel. I am, however, pretty upset that you've yet to say anything about it. Whatsoever.
3. I feel like our friendship is falling apart and I have no idea what to do about it - or if I'm ready to do anything at all except make myself scarce.
4. I don't go to therapy because you were a shitty parent - but thats mostly what I talk about when I get there.
5. Walking home barefoot with you was the beginning of a very important friendship. I hope you know how much I love and appreciate you.
6. I can't believe you fired me over the internet, you coward. Grow up.
7. It will never be the same, and it's because you ran your mouth when you should have come to me first.
8. Ugh, just date me, already.
9. You won't remember much about your time abroad. But I hope having curry for lunch sticks with you forever. You're not even old enough to read this - but someday your mom will tell you all about. Hopefully in German.
10. I love everything about you, except that you're so far away. I am so completely proud of you. Someday I'll move to Philly so we can be neighbors - if I ever graduate.
Nine things about yourself:
1. I'm pretty much scared of everything - except confrontation
2. I'd move to Zurich tomorrow if it meant that Anne and I never had to be this far apart again
3. I hate winter sports, but I love sweaters.
4. I'm broke, and forever working two jobs
5. I miss Florence so much it's probably inappropriate
6. My Italian sucks
7. I am so completely ready to graduate
8. I have NO idea what I'm going to do once I do
9. I've got it pretty bad for my boss. Everyone knows, but him.
Eight ways to win your heart:
1. Vote the democratic party line
2. Love the Phillies
3. Realize that being difficult is part of my charm
4. Try your hardest NOT to have a girlfriend on the side (ahem)
5. Don't judge my love for The Hills, Renaissance painters, Mob movies
6. Understand that Godfather 2 is the superior Godfather
7. Deal with my mother's craziness
8. Appreciate that I'm loyal to a fault - act accordingly
Seven things that cross your mind a lot:
1. My job
2. My sister
3. My bank account
4. Running
5. My bullshit 7.5 credits this semester
6. Not graduating on time
7. Florence
Six things you're afraid of:
1. Indian food
2. Ice skating
3. Tying my shoes in public
4.
5.
6.
One confession:
I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm totally okay with it.
22 September 2008
The Final Straw
I have long been an avid disbeliever in Mike Teel. When the rest of New Brunswick was chanting TEEL IS FOR REAL ! I was cautiously watching his completion rate dip below 50%. I've been known to send a angry text message (or ten) when Mr. Teel commits 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 interceptions per game. For a one trick pony, Mike Teel, you should at least be completing passes.
Sure. I've thrown my hands up in disgust. Yes. I have walked away from the TV and thrown things in anger. But, nothing angered me quite like Saturday's display of complete unsportsmanship. Dear Mike, if you're going to throw a temper tantrum on national TV, at least LOOK at the camera when you offer your half assed apology. Despite the fact that you're 0-3 on the season, there is absolutely no reason so behave like a spoiled brat .
For your viewing pleasure.
Oh, and Greg. Should have gone to Michigan when you had the chance.
Sure. I've thrown my hands up in disgust. Yes. I have walked away from the TV and thrown things in anger. But, nothing angered me quite like Saturday's display of complete unsportsmanship. Dear Mike, if you're going to throw a temper tantrum on national TV, at least LOOK at the camera when you offer your half assed apology. Despite the fact that you're 0-3 on the season, there is absolutely no reason so behave like a spoiled brat .
For your viewing pleasure.
Oh, and Greg. Should have gone to Michigan when you had the chance.
19 September 2008
18 September 2008
93 Days
93 Days until my sister comes home. I'm not obsessing - she started counting long before I did, but now that we're all on the same page, Zurich is lovely, but Hamilton is where your heart is <3.
I'm having a pretty hard time with these "pro high fructose corn syrup" commercials.
a. everyone knows that shit is bad for you
b. every time I see one, thats 32 seconds of my life that I'll never get back
I'm at a loss. I'm going for a run.
I'm having a pretty hard time with these "pro high fructose corn syrup" commercials.
a. everyone knows that shit is bad for you
b. every time I see one, thats 32 seconds of my life that I'll never get back
I'm at a loss. I'm going for a run.
11 September 2008
10 September 2008
Ready
I think that my hiatus from life has lasted long enough. Things are looking a little brighter since I started working on my Art History pre-recs for graduate school. That in itself was a battle. Like all good college students, I finished all my major and minor work in four years, but was left with a very exciting algebra class (or two) to push me into the purgatory of fifth year senior.
This is no one's fault but my own, as I put off taking the placement test until.......April. Whatever. I was sure that I couldn't possibly be the only senior at RU to pull this crap. I was wrong. The professor opened the first class by taking a poll of how many of us were freshmen (everyone) and then proceeded to congratulate said freshmen on being in their first college class. Listen up, buddy ( I was want to say) this is my LAST class, so if we could just move on to x's and y's I'd be a lot happier. Thanks.
Upon returning home I hid my head in the sand for about a week, and here we are today. To alleviate some of the feeling that New Brunswick is sucking away my will to live I started taking Art History prerequisites in the hopes that RU will take me back in the coming years to do my master's work. Here you have to have six classes of Art History completed before you can be considered for the program. I feel like I've got just a little bit of direction now, and thats nice.
Work hasn't started yet (not until Saturday) so my afternoons consist of napping and gymming. This may sound all well and good but I think its leading to moping and complaining (more than usual).
I am awaiting the light at the end of New Brunswick.
This is no one's fault but my own, as I put off taking the placement test until.......April. Whatever. I was sure that I couldn't possibly be the only senior at RU to pull this crap. I was wrong. The professor opened the first class by taking a poll of how many of us were freshmen (everyone) and then proceeded to congratulate said freshmen on being in their first college class. Listen up, buddy ( I was want to say) this is my LAST class, so if we could just move on to x's and y's I'd be a lot happier. Thanks.
Upon returning home I hid my head in the sand for about a week, and here we are today. To alleviate some of the feeling that New Brunswick is sucking away my will to live I started taking Art History prerequisites in the hopes that RU will take me back in the coming years to do my master's work. Here you have to have six classes of Art History completed before you can be considered for the program. I feel like I've got just a little bit of direction now, and thats nice.
Work hasn't started yet (not until Saturday) so my afternoons consist of napping and gymming. This may sound all well and good but I think its leading to moping and complaining (more than usual).
I am awaiting the light at the end of New Brunswick.
02 September 2008
Embarassing
I've been avoiding everything, including this blog, because I am totally distraught about being a fifth year senior, I don't want to give swimming lessons for the rest of my life, I want to start on my master's work, I'm annoyed that the idiots upstairs keep parking me in the driveway, and I have NO IDEA what I want to be when I grow up. So, I'm in hiding. Too bad.
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